He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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