pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
