His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
