Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
