Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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