So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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