Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
