It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
