i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
