Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
