I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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