Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I smell stomach acid.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
