i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
should my penis look like a turkey
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
