I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize