Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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