fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
zippers are such a cool invention
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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