So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
