HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
