awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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