its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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