Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
whose ass print is on the piano?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
