2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
