do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
