wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
