I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
