still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize