Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
last night I used snow as a chaser
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