is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
