ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
