anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
