i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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