**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was like having sex with a tree stump
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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