Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
