Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
