There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
