I'm really into asian looking animals
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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