Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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