we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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