smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
