EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
