New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
