Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize