Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Your shirt... Was in my pants
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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