omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
