I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
