Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
