I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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