No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
