i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
