If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize