I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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