Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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