i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
