Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
