She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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