: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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