She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
they're like a gay fantastic four
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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