Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
