It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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