somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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