hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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