wrigley field is MILF paradise
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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