Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
