He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's like heaven, but drunker
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
