I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
