Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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